OFF TO BURNS

Date: 19/08/2007 16:57

Before we headed over on Saturday, we went on a donation run to ARC. We
added several boxes of stuff from our basement (baskets, vases,
doo-dads) and beat our new friend (the guy who unloads the donations
into the building) there. By the time we were unloaded, he came rushing
up, and was apologetic about being late. His bus was late, but he came
in time to give us a receipt. I'll just add it to Dad's pile as we
don't itemize our taxes.

I'd gotten an early morning email from Chris, he had called Dad (Mom
was asleep); that family contact is so important! Thank you!

By the time we showed up at 10, Mom was up and dressed and making an
effort to take her own temperature. I suggested that since the weather
was so nice and that it was the weekend, that Dad take her for an
outing. They loaded up the walker (she can walk much faster with that
than the cane) and took off for IHOP. It was time for them to see some
new faces and get out of the house for awhile. They were gone several
hours, with the reminder not to buy stuff, and came home in a good
mood. I reminded Mom to ask for a menu item that was diabetic
appropriate, so hopefully she did.

While they were gone, Dennis loaded up the truck for another dump run.
We moved out two more small cabinets from the living room, and
rearranged some furniture so that the wheelchair can get through. While
Dennis was at the dump, and then home cooking dinner to bring back, I
got a bit of cleaning done:

Washed windows in the dining room
Dusted cobwebs out of the ceiling and off of pictures in the dining
room, living room, and hallway
Folded the drying (Dad had done a load of laundry and put it in the
dryer)
Used Dennis super industrial ShopVac to clean out the cold air return
duct

When Mom and Dad got home, Mom took a nap. Dad swept and mopped the
kitchen floor while I ShopVac'ed the hall, dining room, and living
room.  Woodchips under the couch went right up, but the tough part was
taking embedded straight pins and small nails out of the carpet in the
dining and living rooms. There were at least 20.

I moved the stack of gifts from the dining room to the front hallway.
It would be so nice if we could get those to their recipients. There
are rubber stamps and jewelry for Taffy, Shayla, Chelsea, Dotty,
Rebecca, Rachael, and Rene.

I had a conversation with Steffan during the day, he was concerned we
were going to sell the house. His major concern was that he would need
to get his stuff moved and find a place to live. He has been getting
rid of stuff and furniture, and cleaning his living area. I assured him
we are not selling the house, and that he shouldn't worry about that.
He loves the clutter-less atmosphere of the house, and seems much more
calm now.

The good news was when the mailman came there was no mail today. Maybe
some of the 'do not mail' messages are getting through. We went through
the bank statements and bills from yesterday. I wrote out the checks,
Dad signed them, and we'll get them in the mail. When I return, we'll
save them some money by paying insurance in lump, rather than stretched
out on a payment plan. Dennis and I use the same insurance company and
save quite a bit by paying in that manner.

Dennis arrived with dinner: macaroni and cheese and Greek green beans
from our garden. Dad and I found a clean tablecloth, I rewashed dishes
and flatware to put on the table, and we ate a real dinner at the
dining room table with Dad, Mom, and Steffan. I can't remember the last
time I had a sit down dinner at their house, but it's probably been
more than 25 years. Steffan provided ice cream bars for dessert. It was
great.

After dinner I wrote up a list of 'to do' items for Dad to work on
during the coming week. He already has a schedule of things to do every
day with Mom, but these are activities to keep him busy working on the
place. Mom and Dad have finally decided to donate the stuff from the
back bedroom to a service in the neighborhood called 'Scraps'. This is
an organization that offers art materials to local teachers and artists
for free. Mom has used the service for years, so this is really a good
match. Once that room is cleaned out, Dad will do his carving there,
and that will be much closer to Mom. If we get him a super duty
ShopVac, he will be able to keep on top of the chip mess.

One 'field trip' for Mom and Dad is to go to Fred Myers to choose an
expensive set of flatware. Sean can help them with his discount. I told
them to NOT go to Goodwill, but to spend the $20 to $30 it will cost to
get a nice set of silverware. No silverplate, nothing fancy, just nice,
serviceable flatware. Then, when they return, they are to GET RID of
the nasty stuff they have in that drawer. Mom sort of rolled her eyes
when I mentioned they need to agree on a pattern, but at least it will
be a 'field trip.'

On Mom's list I included 'doing exercises twice a day without
complaining' and calling three friends. One friend every two days would
be a good goal. The house is clean enough that she can invite company
over, and mental stimulation will be a good thing. I really am NOT
happy with Mom's 'friends' who seem to have abandoned her once she
became ill. Since she has a book to give to Jyl Myers, and since we saw
Jyl at the family celebration at La Caretta this spring, I thought that
would be a good person to start with. I also listed Joanne, since Mom
has some stuff for her. Finally, I suggested she invite her next door
neighbor, Rona. Rona is Baba Wagi's wife. I'm thinking now that their
home is more welcoming, that having visitors will be an easier event.
It will also give Dad a little 'me' time in another room so that Mom
has someone else to talk to.

I reminded them about no Goodwill/Thrift Store shopping while we were
gone. It will be hard, it's an addiction, and I'll call every day to
make sure things are going well.

We got Mom's hair appt. changed so that it doesn't conflict with Meals
on Wheels delivery. She has some things to give Anita when she goes to
the salon. She is to take her walker, so she doesn't have another
'incident' like the last time when she slumped down and Anita hurt her
back trying to support Mom. (I just learned this yesterday.)

Steffan cleared the table, Dennis did the dishes, I visited with Mom
and Dad for awhile. They were looking forward to Forrest coming over. I
called him before dinner and he was at Shayla's, but would be on his
way. I know that Dad got the painting materials all ready for him to
work on the outside of the house.

Unbelievably, it rained last night. Hopefully things will dry out so
that Forrest can get the primer on the house and the exposed wood won't
begin to rot.

Well, we are off for the Rice family reunion, then a week in Burns. I
don't have the internet down there anymore, so will just be in contact
with Dad via our Tracfone. Talk to you all next week.

Love,
Daphne

AMAZING PROGRESS

Date: 18/08/2007 17:12

Dennis finished installation on the screen door yesterday, then
rearranged (and straightened) the artwork on the walls. We packed
another load for ARC donations into the truck and will drop that off
this morning.

Kim, the visiting home nurse, came yesterday. She was amazed at how
much progress we had made since her last visit. She took Mom's vital
signs and things are looking okay. I worked with Mom on her morning
exercises and Dad worked with her in the evening. I helped them a bit,
but it looks like it will work out okay while we are gone next week.

Mom must be feeling a bit better, because she has started complaining
to me about Dad. When she was feeling her worst, she didn't even speak
much. Anyway, she is sure that Dad wants to be the boss of the house
and he is telling her to do her exercises wrong. I assured her that he
is doing everything he can to keep her safe and well. (And kept to
myself the thought that he IS the boss of the house, but that's beside
the point.)

I got pretty angry with the credit union when I called to ask them why
some guy's name was at the top of some of Dad's statements. The
operator wouldn't tell me if that was a teller, or what. This prompted
Dennis and me to go over the will again and establish that Mom and Dad
have given me permission to help them with their financial affairs. So,
today I'm going to have another little visit with the CU folks.

Meanwhile, I have sent (as Chris and Laird can attest to the ccs) all
sorts of 'Cease and Desist' emails, and a few follow-up phone calls, to
various charities that have Mom on their list. I was so angry with the
Indian School; none of the email contacts work and all send back Mailer
Daemon (sp) messages. I called and left a message on a machine. If I
ever find the time, several of these 'charities' will be on my list to
complain to the BBB!

I told both Mom and Dad about the non-responsiveness of some of the
charities. It was another of those 'tough love' conversations, but they
both need to know that there are people out there willing to bilk
elderly people from their money.

Later in the day, after Mom's pain pill had kicked in, she was having a
hard time articulating who she wanted to send something to. After a
long, drawn out argument with Dad, frustration, and almost tears, I got
it out of her that she wanted to write a thank you note to the
Providence nurses who cared for her in the hospital, and she had me
make a crayon rubbing of an Indian basket she had told them about.
Apparently, when they asked her what religion she is, in the hospital,
she told them she wanted an Indian Shaman. She thought it was time for
last rites. Anyway, she has this Indian connection (although the house
was filled with Madonnas and crosses) and wanted to let the nurses know
why. At first, she started to write the letter, but stopped because on
the first word she couldn't remember how to spell. I told her that was
okay, I would spell it for her. When I gave her letters to spell, she
began writing the wrong letters. That was a shock to me. She realized
it, too, and was very upset. I told her not to worry, she could just
tell me what to write. So, we got the note written. She was convinced
that Dad had thrown away the address and that it had been on the
kitchen table. The only thing that she brought home from the hospital
was a photo of a clown with 'Dr. Runamuck' on it, that I had thrown
away, and a blue slip of paper that said, 'If your boomerang does not
come back, it's just a stick.' She seemed to think those had an
address, I pulled them out of the trash, and no - no address. I'll just
get it from the Internet.


I talked to Taffy on the phone yesterday, she was on her way, but had a
physical problem. She went back home. I tried to call later, but got no
answer. So, I tried to reach the Dotty/Forrest family, but also didn't
connect. I called Donny and he may be able to drop in today to see
Grandma and Grandpa.

Enough for now, it's time to get up and get this day started.

Love,
Daphne

DAY WITH NO TEARS

Date: 17/08/2007 04:00

Yesterday (Wednesday) Dennis and I were at Mom and Dad's from 10 am
until 6 pm. Dotty called; the kids all had their dental appts. for
school (remember those? AARGH!) so maybe she can come later in the
week. [I would rather clean than go to the dentist, if you know what I
mean!]

We finally opened up the access through the laundry room. Dennis got
the back screen door put on and bought a new screen door for the front;
it will have to be firred in, but he was a door installer years ago, so
that's doable.

We hauled off another load to the dump and another load to ARC. (Dennis
is doing so much box hauling that it's got him in the hot tub twice a
day!)

The physical therapist made a home visit. She had Mom show her how she
walks with her cane and with her walker. The walker is still a squeeze
in some of the locations, so this makes it easier for us to convince
Dad that more furniture must go. She left the directions for Dad to
help Mom do her exercises twice a day. He's already working on that
with her.

For all of the progress that we have made, I was so embarrassed for Mom
and Dad at the horribly dirty, smelly state the house was in when the
therapist was there. It is deplorable. But, clutter out first, then
deep cleaning later.


The good thing was that Dad had cleared a few things the night before.
This is not easy as he is Mom's 24 hour caregiver, and he is attached
to a lot of stuff. So, we hauled out another card table, at least two
more bookcases, and a few small stands for the 'free store' out front
of the house. We put things out to be 'gone' but some of them
mysteriously migrate back inside the house. We put them out again, and
it's to the point now where Dennis has to put the tarp over the truck
so that the 'stuff' will stay outside.

If I haven't told you already, I believe that we have receipts totaling
4,880 pounds for the dump, and just as many pickup loads to the
donation centers.

We finally cleared the dining room table of the Christmas gifts of
rubber stamps and jewelry Mom has sorted out for her 'girls'. We got
rid of a ripped old room divider.

Dennis and I spent several hours cleaning out envelopes of photos;
trying to find the 'people' shots, and dumping scads of photos Audrey
sent of her family and trips she's been on. (That's the ticket; clean
your house by sending all the junk to the Richardsons!) Anyway, we now
have a drawer dedicated to family pictures. You can be sure that there
are many quite flattering photos of all of us; but that's for you all
to check out later....

The good news is that Dad had his 'shingles' appt. and the pain is
abating. He is very resistant to taking Vicodin (I can understand that;
it's nasty stuff I used for dental pain), so thank goodness his stress
level is going down. Yes, it's stressful to sort and get rid of stuff,
but I believe he is almost relishing the 'resort' atmosphere of room to
move.

Today we did an ARC run first, then got to Dad and Mom's before 10. We
could only stay until noon as I had PT today (while Dennis did the dump
run) and we are both just about exhausted. Not sure, but this may have
been Day 10 in a row.

While we were there, I got the desk cleaned out and Dennis got the
sideboard organized. He helped Dad sort through some old papers and we
brought home a large box to shred in our crosscut shredder. Dad had Mom
sort through books. She's almost to the point where she just wants to
get rid of things, but then gets distracted.

Dennis has dinner planned for Saturday, with Sunday leftovers: macaroni
and cheese and Greek Green beans. Dad loves mac and cheese and Mom will
enjoy the 'gourmet' cheese like smoked Gouda, etc. I think I'll try to
whip up an angel food cake dessert. Diabetics can eat that kind of
cake. We are getting our recipes off the diabetic websites.

Sean and Steffan are setting out more 'stuff', as well. That will make
later stages of clean up easier.

We HAVE to figure out what to do with the carvings. I haven't
confronted Dad about that yet. I don't think he knows that I discovered
the basement is full of them. It's a firetrap. It's scary. We'll need
to do another intervention when Chris or Laird are here. BUT; first
things first. The living space is most important.

Made it through two whole days with no tears, so things are looking up.
We'll be back tomorrow. Maybe I can get Donny to take Dad to Powells to
do some book selling this weekend.

Love for now,
Daphne

VISITING NURSE

Date: 15/08/2007 17:07

I skipped two days for information. We were too beat each night to
write.

Okay: Sunday:

We worked hard trying to reclaim the living room. More bookcases out,
more video tapes out, more cleaning under the furniture. More books
out. Several loads to the dump. Several loads to the donation centers.
Dennis working his butt off, Sean working alongside him. We found the
living room. We put all of Dad's tools in the corner. I laundered the
drapes and Dennis rehung them. I pulled out dead plants from the window
corner and wished I had a baler to capture and consolidate all of the
dead leaves and palm fronds from the past decade.

Dad helped empty a bookcase, but every book was special. I vowed to
keep  him busy doing something else during the next clean out because
he can't let go of anything. Up until yesterday I was sure the majority
of stuff was Mom's. I may be wrong. The entire living room was 'Dad
stuff.' There was not even a trail or path to get through the living
room anymore. We 'free store' got rid of at least two turntables,
several audio cassette decks, at least 4 giant speakers and 3 large
(over 6 feet) bookshelves. I could not even count the audio cassettes
we removed. I took out at least two large tables that plants (dead) had
been sitting on. One corner of the rug was so terrible I Febrezed it to
death. I pulled two rotten crocheted afghans, a holey sleeping bag, and
other icky stuff out from the sectional. I put at least a dozen
decorative, stinky, pillows into large garbage bags. Near the end, Dad
consolidated some of his woodworking tools and gave up at least one (to
his knowledge) tool carousel.

We worked from 10 am until almost 6 pm. By then, Dotty and Forrest were
on their way, so we left to go home and crash. Dotty brought dinner,
two  of the girls, and employed Forrest to help 'sneak out' more stuff.
They did more vacuuming and 'downloaded' (into their van) a bunch of
stuff from the front porch and more than half the stuff from the back
porch. Forrest got rid of some more dry rot from the front porch, too.
He's planning to stay this weekend and work on the outside stuff. For
the most part, we have 'recovered' the living room. Out went at least
two more bookcases, lots of 'stuff', and lots of trash.

Today (Monday) we arrived around 10, after taking another load to the
dump. (It's up to over $200 in fees now, Dad's covered $100. I didn't
have the heart to tell him about the rest.) The living room was clear
and open enough that Mom could have her morning coffee there. She
pointed out some more stuff we can take off the walls (Goodwill art) to
get rid of. Now that we are getting rid of the junk, you can actually
see their nice stuff. I showed Mom the area that smelled of cat pee and
told her we will have to eventually get rid of the carpet. She relayed
that info to Dad later in the day. Dennis told me tonight that under
the carpet are some hardwood floors that actually could be reclaimed.

Today was a mass of phone calls. The visiting home nurse finally came
at 1:30 and stayed until 3:00. She took Mom's vitals and things are
looking good. She had us sign some papers about health care and medical
info release. The only 'family member' that Mom and Dad do not want
info released to under any circumstance is Deana. For that matter,
Dennis and I have been talking to Sean and it looks like divorce will
finally happen later this fall, based on his youngest kid's age.

Kim, the visiting nurse, was great with Mom and Dad. She checked the
meds, the bathroom, the 'walk space' (so far) and watched Mom walk
(shuffle) with her cane. She has me as the 'next' contact. When Dad and
Mom go to the doctor on the 22nd, they will get a 'Post Notice' that
informs the EMTs what their medical wishes are according to their
Wills. Kim will be back this Friday and the Physical Therapist will be
there on Wednesday.

Mom and Dad were quite nervous during Kim's visit, because they truly
want to stay in their home, and they knew that Kim's note taking would
help determine if things were getting safer there for them. I talked
with her extensively after the visit and let her know of the progress
and our plans for continued progress.

Meanwhile, the home health nurse from Mom's doctor called to see how
things were going. I gave her a progress update, and got info on the
Multnomah County Ride Connection (similar program to the one Dennis
drives for in Clackamas County) to set up future doctor appts. for
them.

During the day, we had several phone calls getting Dad's meds squared
away for his shingles. We were in momentary 'panic' when it looked like
Dad was late for his appt. with Dr. Bauer, because Kim stayed until 3.
However, Dad had written the wrong day on the calendar, so he doesn't
go back until the 15th. With at least 3 phone calls we got that squared
away and a prescription sent to Hollywood Fred Meyers. He is on 1/2 tab
of Vicodin for pain until Wednesday, and is not allowed to drive while
taking it.

During all of this, Dennis and Sean cleared more stuff from the living
room (under furniture, out of filing cabinets [3], and the hall
closet.) Dennis brought over the ShopVac and did some more vaccuuming.
I got more stuff off the mantle, including sparkly paper, and cheap
knickknacks. We cleared two ugly lamps out of the living room, and got
rid of two more bookcases. Sean would tend the 'free store' out front,
went with Dennis to the dump and to the donation center, and kept busy.
Steffan cleared out more audio cassettes from his place downstairs. He
was polite (and flattering) to the visiting nurse as well.

Because Dad's prescription took a little longer, we stayed to make sure
Mom was okay. By the time we headed out, Dotty and Forrest were on
their way. The living room was recognizable as a living room!



On Tuesday, after going to the dump, we worked on the dining room
again. We pulled out two bookcases, and started on boxes of craft
supplies that towered toward the ceiling. I found Mom's 3 piece photo
frame under the table: her father, her mother, and the xerox photo of
Daphne/Chris/Laird/Steffan on the ladder at the Helena house.

Laird called from China and talked to both Mom and Dad. They were
thrilled, it was a highlight of the day. Thanks, Laird; 2 am is a rough
time of the morning to make phone calls!

I didn't get as much done in the house today as I wanted. One 'time
waster' was going to the bank, then the credit union, then the bank
with Mom and Dad. I'm sure Dennis must have felt abandoned, as the trip
was supposed to only be to the bank. As it turned out we got little to
nothing accomplished as the only type of electronic bill pay is
internet based. They don't have the internet, and Dad doesn't trust the
method. The biggest hitch in the finances is that they both have to
have 'their own' accounts, except that (thank goodness) they recently
got both of the their names on both of the accounts. It's a chess game
how they pay the bills: Dad takes money (physically, from the ATM at
the credit union) and puts it into the bank account. Then, Mom used to
write the checks from the bank account. Well, she cannot write anymore
(it is physically painful) and Dad has been learning how to write
checks. Unfortunately, even though he writes the check amounts in the
register, the checkbook is not balanced. They have had late fees for
various bills and the water company has sent shut off notices in the
past year. Arrgh. I'm still working on the financial end of things; but
this will be on hold until their new VISA number arrives.

So, back to the house. Mom really wanted to 'help' so we sat her at the
dining room table and had her choose recipients for her vast rubber
stamp collection. I set up boxes for Dotty, Taffy, Shayla, Chelsea,
Rebecca, Rachael, and Rene. (Rene's will obviously need to be put away
until she grows up a bit.) Victoria is getting the big dollhouse and
furniture. I talked to Taffy in the evening last night and she'll
deliver the collections to our Colton connection.

I tried to keep Mom hydrated, but the trip to the banks and the heat
(90 degrees) was too sapping. It took Dad, Dennis, and me to get her
into the bedroom. She was exhausted. Dad turned on the A/C (thank
goodness we took that out of our Burns place) and got the bedroom
cooled down. I loosened her clothes, put a cool cloth on her forehead,
and gave her some lime balm to sniff. Then I laid down on the bed, too,
and wrecked my sinuses again. Mom wasn't aware of that, thank goodness.

By the time I got back to the living room, because we had removed a
bookcase, a card table, and several boxes, Dennis and Dad had opened up
the hall through the laundry room. SAFETY is within reach. The phone is
more easily accessible. Dad wanted to leave a shelf there and I finally
convinced him that we needed access in case the wheelchair blocked the
hall, or someone fell, etc. It was a little easier to convince him of
that than earlier in the day when I found him hauling a small cabinet
back into the bedroom for a phone stand. That took a tactful argument
on my part to show him that the phone is now easy to reach and if he
puts furniture back in then access becomes limited again.

So, all in all, we got a lot done, despite the trip to town. Sean is
now back to work. Dotty may be in today, Taffy is coming Friday.
Forrest will be here on the weekend. I have to get up out of bed and
get started on our day....

Love,
Daphne

MOM's DREAM

Date: 12/08/2007 07:38

Dennis and I took a load of yard debris to the dump first thing this
morning. Arriving at Dad and Mom's we discovered Sean picking up the
mess that the night marauders had left. They ripped open garbage bags,
stole the donations for the Retarded Citizens, and made a huge mess.
Discovering some bank and credit union statements on the sidewalk, I
immediately tried to contact both institutions to notify them of
possible fraud.

Meanwhile, on hold for more than 10 minutes, I used Dad's cell to call
Dotty to see when she and Forrest were coming. While speaking with her,
the bank FINALLY answered, and I dropped the phone which disconnected.
Well, that was the first straw that broke the camel's back. I just
broke down and felt totally overwhelmed.

Long story short, I finally reached the US Bank Fraud division to put a
hold on their checking, change the VISA number, and contacted the
credit union. The credit union assured me that no one can access the
account without the card and the pin. More tears talking to the bank
people, but they were very understanding and patient. I know they have
dealt with upset people before, so kudos to US Bank for being so
understanding.

Meanwhile, Dennis and Sean loaded up the truck. We got two loads of
donations off to ARC today, and Dennis and Sean drove another load to
the dump. I had hauled 3 boxes of Dad's carvings out to the curb. Up
until this a.m. I would have never considered doing that. However, I
had gone downstairs with Steffan as he wanted to show me that he was
making his place neat. (I was shocked; it looked okay.) Getting back
upstairs, I walked through what used to be Dad's shop and saw ...
hundreds? of boxes filled with his projects. Okay, that was
overwhelming. So you can see why I figured he wouldn't miss 3 boxes.

Well, I wasn't quick enough. Dad walked around the corner of the house,
opened the lid on the boxes, and hauled them back to the porch. I just
sobbed, Dad felt bad, and I told him I didn't want to hurt his
feelings, but we HAVE to get this place clean. (By the way, I am
getting sick of this crying business.)

Dad had told me I could just take out the boxed up stuff, but it looks
like that doesn't mean his projects. More on that later.

Forrest and Shayla were a great help today. Forrest, Dennis, and Sean
carried out three full cabinets of video tapes. We have almost emptied
a 6 foot book case partially blocking the front door. Shayla helped
fill garbage bags, entertain Mom, pack donation boxes, and organize
Dad's tools.

We hauled countless dead plants out of the house. We are trying to
consolidate Dad's woodworking tools into the area where the indoor
jungle was filled with dead plants. Anything with a Goodwill sticker
goes right into the donations boxes.

I emptied a three drawer dresser in the living room. Two drawers filled
with old clothes. One drawer filled with candles. Every single candle
is being removed from the house. One drawer, when I tried to open it,
was so stuffed the handle broke off.

I want to point out, again, that no treasures are being sent away. We
are finding full boxes of stuff bought at Goodwill. The stench of cat
urine and feces is everywhere; it is the most depressing place in the
world right now. Thank goodness no one is dead.

Dad is most appreciative, he is just overwhelmed. He thanked us both
today when we talked to him in the late afternoon. Dennis said
something like, 'well, it just kind of got away from you,' and Dad
agreed and said he was so sorry we had to do this. We assured him that
we wanted to, and everything will be okay in the long run.

When Dennis and I left today, our truck was loaded with junk for the
dump. The only things we left on the sidewalk were some empty cabinets
and a broken plant stand and a shaky chair. The front porch is loaded
up with stuff again, but blocked off with lattice so that the local
no-goods won't make a mess again.

We'll go over again tomorrow. Forrest will be there, Sean will be
there, Steffan tries to keep out of the way. This is very unsettling
for him, but I'm trying to make him understand that this is to keep
everyone safe. He said, "Why don't you just take all this stuff to your
house?" I replied, "Steffan, I can't live like this. I need to feel
safe and know that if my house ever catches on fire I can get out
safely. I have to live in a clean place. This will be better."
"Sterile?" "No, Steffan, clean and safe."

Shayla may or may not be able to come again tomorrow (or the next day),
but she's such a great help and has promised to come back, so that is
another weight lifted.

I feel horrible that Dotty overdid it with her back yesterday. The
great news is that she got two of the kitties off to (most likely) good
homes and has appointments set up to neuter the remaining animals.

We reclaimed NO rooms today, but we can now move through the front
door, through the living room, and into the dining room. We almost have
aisles that you can walk through without turning sideways. I told
Shayla that one of us must have a big butt, because there were times
today that both of us weren't fitting into the same aisle!

While cleaning the living room, Dad saw me put some yard thing into a
box. He said, "You known, your Mamma really...." and I said, "Dad, I am
so sorry, but I just HAVE to do this. This place has to be safe. You
have to be able to move around in here. If Mom gets upset, have her
yell at me. I'm not doing this to be mean, but I HAVE to do
this...please."

The good thing is that Mom and Dad are to the point where 'if there's
anything you kids want, you're welcome to it.' Mom's doing okay, her
back pain has her laying in bed with a vibrator on her back, listening
to her books on tape. She was dressed and got up and walked out to the
back porch for a few minutes today. Dad is doing a great job organizing
her meds, catering to her every whim, getting us boxes and bottled
water, and trying to do the best he can. He made Mom mush with fresh
blueberries today, and Dotty had sent over some food.

I had him clean some more old magazines off of his book cases in the
bedroom today. I told him that to keep this handful of woodworking
books, he would have to get rid of something. That worked okay.

We taped the family phone list up on the wall. I doubt Dad will call
any of you, but when you have the time, please call them.

Mom really loved getting to visit with Shayla today. I guess the last
time Shayla had been to the house was when she was six, so the
condition was probably quite a shock to her. A week ago I had only been
in the kitchen and had no idea how the situation has escalated. We are
taking down hanging blankets between the rooms. I told Dad that we
can't just block off stuff any more, because once it's hidden, it's
forgotten.

When we finally get this place emptied, we will need to get it cleaned
- somehow - and my dream would be to get it painted, carpets ripped
out, and get them some decent CLEAN furniture. But, this is way down
the pike.

Thanks for letting me relate this. I can not carry it inside.

Love,
Daphne

PS: Laird; Mom dreamed about you night before last.

NO MORE PETS

Date:11/08/2007 06:34

Dennis and I started in early today and cleaned off the front porch. It
filled the pickup. It was junk. Dennis and Sean hauled that load to the
dump.

Meanwhile . . .

Another 'room' reclaimed today!

The little hallway from the kitchen to the living room - I know; sounds
small, doesn't it? It took all day of continuous work - sorting,
hauling, and one small 'Mom-frontation' when she wanted to look at what
I was putting into the boxes. Nope, not going there . . . and Dad
supported me. "Daphne knows what she's doing, that stuff's not
important."

Meals on Wheels delivered Dad and Mom's second lunch, and the fresh
strawberries were a big hit with both of them. Dad's shingles are
driving him crazy, but he doesn't complain out loud. I heard him
calling the doctor to get some more prescription meds for it.

By lunchtime, I'd cleared out an entire bookshelf (taller than Dad) in
the hall. Dad and I moved it into the bedroom, and moved OUT the wine
boxes that the the videos had been in. We moved out at least 6 wine
boxes and a small cabinet from the bedroom. Later in the day, Dad
cleaned a shelf of magazines so that we could move Mom's poetry from
the hall to the bedroom.

Midday, Rebecca helped me clear off another shelf unit in the hall. (I
had Dad clear off that shelf in the bedroom (of magazines) so that we
could move Mom's poetry from the shelf in the hall to the bedroom.)
Rebecca hauled bags of garbage and donations from ANOTHER set of
drawers in the hall. (I plan to remove that tomorrow, so we can use
that alcove to store the wheelchair.) Then, we cleaned off ANOTHER
shelf unit, and Rebecca hauled that out, too. I asked her if she knew
what 'irony' meant. She wasn't sure. I asked her if she had heard the
term 'ironic'. Yes. Then I handed her several books off the shelf we
were cleaning: Get Rid of Clutter, Organize Your Closet, etc. She is
such a sweet kid, she said, "Well, at least they had good intentions."
She cracked me up later, however, when we pulled a few boxes out of the
living room that were already packed. She pointed to the stacks and
said something like, "Well, half of the work is done with those..."

Meanwhile, Dotty was busy getting rid of dead plants and replanting the
LIVE plants and organizing the plant buckets in front of the wheelchair
ramp.

Rene 'helped' by carrying various leaves to the truck. Rene also spent
some time laying in bed with Gramma, offering quite a bit of emotional
comfort. Late in the day, we took a walk to the front porch to admire
its emptiness, and she picked up a cat poop scoop to use as a dustpan.
I had her put THAT back in the box, so she grabbed the broom. Good
little sweeper, she about swept me off the porch.

Rachael was a big help with picking up trash in the living room, then
dusting anything and everything in sight.

Rebecca and I found one nonusable phone, then located the 'real' phone
and put it back into the kitchen/laundry area.

Meanwhile, Dennis was busy out in the yard removing the filbert tree,
maple tree, a 'spirit tree', and he's starting on the bamboo. The
pickup is loaded with yard debris to take to the dump in the morning.

By the time we all called it a day, Dotty's van was loaded with
donations for the library and the second hand store, along with two of
the MANY cats that live at 403/405 SE 15th. They are going to a special
place for cats . . . .

A summons for jury duty showed up for Mom today. I called, was on hold
for 12 minutes, then finally got her excused. (forever)

The sidewalk area is full of things to take to ARC, a load of garbage,
and boxes of books to get rid of tomorrow. Grampa is hoping Donny will
be able to take him to Powell's this weekend to resell some of his
rarer books.

The saddest part of the day was when Dennis and Sean discovered that
the cats had used the front door (no longer an entrance) as a cat box
area for who knows how long. They had to shovel out the litter, feces,
and then cut out the carpet. No doubt we are all in agreement: NO MORE
PETS.

Mom and Dad are set for food: Dotty brought the weekend meals for them
and for Steffan.

We will be back at it tomorrow, Dotty and Forrest will be with us
tomorrow, too.

Please call or talk to Dad or Mom when you can over the next couple of
days. It's a good diversion for both of them.

I've probably forgotten many important parts of today, but at least
it's a snapshot of progress.

Love,
Daphne

MEALS ON WHEELS

Date: 10/08/2007 05:44

Today Dennis and Sean and Dad took down a tree and Dennis drove it to
the dump. It filled the pickup.

I began working on Mom and Dad's finances. Got Mom off several charity
lists; they are really taking advantage of her.

Meals on Wheels delivered their first meal. Dotty will be covering the
weekend meal for Dad and Mom this weekend.

I got Mom to choose clothes and dress herself today. She will need to
launder her nightclothes every day. I told Dad this.

Sean cooked dinner for them last night and cleaned up the kitchen
afterwards.

Mom was able to move around with her cane. She is more coherent. She is
not nagging Dad.

Dennis and I took the first two pickup loads to the ARC (Retarded
Citizens) project. We are getting donation receipts for Dad and Mom's
taxes.

Dotty is coming by tomorrow to bring the weekend meal and take some
more of our packed loads to 'recycle.'

We are NOT going to do a yard sale. Donations to charity will be in the
form of goods, and I will keep all receipts for Mom and Dad's taxes.

Dennis and I will go over at 10 am again tomorrow. Since I have no PT
in the afternoon, I'll work on clearing that hall and Dennis will work
in the yard again.

Love,
Daphne